We did a “Yes” Day. I learned a lot.
After watching the first episode of The Parenting Test together as a family. One of my children asked us if we could have our very own yes day. If you’re unfamiliar, a yes day is a day where the parents cannot say no to their children’s request. My children previously asked to have a yes day and I have always responded no, It seemed like a recipe for disaster and something that only an influencer family would do for views. However, seeing it executed on the The Parenting Test, let me see that we could set parameters, and it presented as a way to gain insight about how our parenting is going and what our children value. Seeing it as the potential to really get to know my children, I said we could do it. Here were my parameters:
We had to stay at home.
It could not involve spending money.
It could not involve another family.
And it could only last until it was time to get ready for a birthday party that same afternoon (4:oo pm).
My children agreed to the rules and so it began.
On the show, children asked for things as innocent and sweet as mom and dad can’t be on their phone to the ultra mischevioius of I want to slap dad. My children had watched what these television kids asked for so I wondered how much the television would influence their asked. What I found, is for the most part, they asked for things they always ask for, with one caveat.
Unlimited screentime
To dress up my husband and I for a fashion show, including makeup
To build a living room fort together
For each of us to make portraits of one other family member
A milkshake
To play a trivia game of who knows the 7-year-old the best
For us to clean their rooms.
For us to eat food that they made. The caveat lol
I learned that they enjoy the idea of having unlimited scrrentime, but they actually used their screens less than their maximum of two hours a day. They probably spent a total of 30 minutes using screens during the “yes day” time, because they were enjoying spending quality time together as a family, doing nothing but activities of their choosing.
Apart from making my husband, wear a wig and a bit of makeup, they put together outfits very similar to the ones that we would have selected for ourselves. For them, it was about having the power to decide for us, but not a desire to make us look too silly.
They always want to build forts. They build forts often. The difference is they had our undivided attention and we had to help quite a bit in building the fort, instead of my usual style of letting them learn through trial and error. But because of this we built a two-story fort, something that they had not previously created.
The portraits were cute and accurate depictions of each of us.
We don’t eat a lot of sweets in our house. We try to stay away from junk in general. It was not surprising to me that one of the asks was to have a milkshake. They ask for desserts everyday despite being told no the vast majority of time.
The trivia game was cute. The 9 year-old won. It showed me how close my children are. It also taught me some things about my 7 year-old like her “least favorite color” that is not considered a real color is clear and not rainbow like I thought LOL.
I was surprised that they asked us to clean their rooms. One, because it’s not fun and two, because I truly did not think that they cared how their rooms looked… This one was interesting though, because my 7-year-old quickly regretted asking for this because she said she was bored and she felt bad because there was so many items hidden in places and so it was a lot to clean. She even apologized for the ask, once she saw us sorting everything into piles. I told her I was glad she asked because the room was too much for her to clean alone. Because she said she was bored, once we got to a stopping place, we stopped cleaning the room to do the next activity of their choosing. She thanked us for that. Cleaning the 9 year-olds room was very quick and didn’t cause any added conversation.
The last thing was eating food that they prepared. The 7 year-old prepared a plate of “nachos” for me to eat. The 9 year-old prepared a “sandwich” for my husband. The nachos consisted of raw broccoli and carrots, sunflower seeds, dry cereal, tortilla chips and salt and pepper. I have a very strict diet so she did not have much to choose from. For example, I can’t eat tomatoes, avocados, cheese or sour cream. So while the combination was weird, she was tasting as she went, as she was really trying to create something that was edible, but new.
My 9-year-old went the other way. She prepared my husband a gross sandwich and was delighted to see him eat it. The sandwich included ginger snaps, mayonnaise, jalapeños, oats and was sprinkled with paprika. After telling my husband to eat the sandwich and laughing at his disgusted face, both the 7 and 9 year-olds had a bite for themselves and joyfully squealed with delight. However, the 9 year-old felt a bit of remorse for asking him to eat something so gross and started saying things like she didn’t know what it would taste like or exactly what the ingredients were. These statements came after I reminded her that my husband makes her food most of the time. But it was all in good fun.
After it was over, we sat together and I offered a reflection. I said based on what they chose to do, it seems like they really value spending time together as a family. They agreed. This makes me feel really good. Those that know us, comment on how much time we spend together, going out and doing things. I think this yes day served a reminder that we can spend that same quality time together without ever leaving the house. I plan to do more of that in the future.
